Break-up Tip #45

Reasons why you should get over your break-up…

So, you just had your heart broken and the last thing you want to do is face the world again. I get it.

The problem is the longer you spend locked up inside, the harder it will be to get back out there and move on. Recently I met with my doctor who is close in age to me and went through a bad break-up. She had been dating this guy for just over 2 years and although the relationship was long distance she was pretty sure he was the one.

So, of course she felt totally devastated when he called her to tell her he could no longer be with her. What I can tell you about my doctor is that she is very brave and got up the next day, went to work and forced herself to not think about it. She was doing great!

For many of us this isn’t so easy and we just can’t quite face it. Thus, I have created a list of reasons why you should get over you break-up and try and get out of bed (If not for health reasons alone…everybody needs to take a shower 😉

1. If it’s meant to be, this guy will come back…there is no point on dwelling on it
2. If you were having fights or disagreements often then he probably wasn’t on the same page as you
3. There is probably someone better suited for you
4. You can now do everything you wanted to do, take that trip, go skydiving, get a new job, whatever your heart desires!
5. Everything happens for a reason, maybe you both need some space and time to reflect
6. You may be happier alone for a while. Being single isn’t bad!
7. If he wasn’t treating you the way you deserve, he doesn’t deserve for you to feel bad. Move on
8. Tomorrow is a new day, you never know what’s going to happen..
9. You can watch your tv shoes, eat whatever you want and just be you (how great is that J )
10. Your friends and family will still love you and guess what they’re not going anywhere

If a break-up has you down, just try and focus on the positive aspects. It won’t be easy but in the long-run you will be glad you did. Think of this as a growing experience and a time of self-reflection. You can get through this and you will come out better for it.

Until next time,

Miss Behaving xox

Breakup Tip #41

The letdown, we’ve all had them, right?

Relationships aren’t easy; you hear it over and over again. You will have your ups and your downs but you need to stick through it. Unfortunately, there will come a time when your significant other will let you down (or vice versa). This won’t be something you plan on but let’s face it we’re all human…

Now, I’m not telling you to let this guy go because he didn’t do something he said he was going to do or he was supposed to pick up your mother from the airport but he totally forget. These things are forgivable but when a guy lets you down time after time, should you stay with him or not?

For most women we are more prone to letting things go, we say our peace and get over it. However, when a guy does something to diminish your trust time after time, it may be time to ask why are we sticking around? In particular, if a guy you are dating doesn’t seem to care anymore or he is just too lazy to do something, shouldn’t that be a huge flashing warning sign that he isn’t the
one?

I would think so.

Love is blinding, it’s true! We can make up a million excuses for a guy we are madly in love with. What I’m trying to tell you is, if a guy is consistently letting you down, not giving you the time of day or just couldn’t care less if he sees you or not, he is probably not going to get any better.

Cut the ties and let him loose, you deserve to be treated with the same respect you give him. Admittedly, guys and girls will let each other down, we all make mistakes but when a guy doesn’t care enough about a girl it will be clear in his actions. So, keep this in mind, don’t get walked over, be strong and be brave, if he isn’t the one it’s better to know now than later.

Until next time,

Miss Behaving xox

Breakup Quote of the Day…

Breakup Tip #39

Breakups are tough just ask those kicked off the Bachelorette…

A new season of the Bachelorette is upon us and while the girls across the nation gather around their TV’s to see the latest drama and make fun of how ridiculous some of those cheesy lines are (I believe my husband is in this room…please), we can take a few things away from the guys.

Break-ups, whether on TV or off it are hard. Yes, you may have only known said person for about 20 minutes or less because she (or he) was busy meeting other attractive 20-something year olds but that was a genuine connection and you have every right to be broken hearted.

Well, just like the many broken hearted bachelors, many of us can relate to having our heart broken. You see it doesn’t always matter how long you’ve known someone, it can take an instant to fall in love with someone and in the next minute they may be leaving you high and dry. What I’m trying to tell you ladies is that just if these poor tormented (somewhat handsome) men on the Bachelorette can be broken hearted, so can you. Who cares if you only knew the guy for 5 days, it still hurts!

What I’m trying to say here is that, breakups suck, no matter how long the relationship lasted. So, don’t feel bad that you only dated him for a month, if he meant a lot to you then you rightly feel a little sad. But, the good news here is you don’t need to spend another minute wanting him. Let some other girl deal with his drama because you are officially young, free and single and you deserve someone who will stick around for the long haul.

Until next time,

Miss Behaving xox

Breakup Tip #38

To Facebook or not to Facebook, that is the question…

For many of us we like to tell the world that we are exclusively dating (insert lovers name). However, for others of us (myself included) we don’t like the world in our personal business. So, when it comes to our relationship status on Facebook what do we do when the relationship is over?

It’s the one thing that we all dread at the end of a relationship…updating our relationship to single (or nothing) with the hopes that the little broken heart won’t post on our newsfeed for the world to see. Why? Because we all deserve to have the freedom to grieve and cry (and let’s face it eat as much Ben and Jerry ice cream as we please) without the world wanting to comment on it.

Oh and guess what! I don’t care that you “like” my new single status…I am miserable and you should leave me alone. I get it.

So, this ladies is my advice to you. If a relationship you have publicly advertised on Facebook has come to an end, don’t panic. Just hide it from your newsfeed and your profile page and if someone asks you about it be honest (dude was a jerk). It doesn’t need to be another hurdle to cross, after all it’s just a webpage and today’s news will be dead and gone by tomorrow. So Why stress the little stuff, you can get through this and if you need to take a Facebook break, I say do it. A little break from the computer never hurt anyone.

Good luck, ladies.

Until next time,

Miss Behaving xox

Breakup Tip #36

The dreaded DTR (determine the relationship- google it it’s a real acronym)

When you reach a certain point in any romantic relationship you have to wonder where this is going. Do we have a future together or is this just a fling? Well ladies sometimes the DTR can be the end of a relationship. Why? Because although we may think things are going really well our partner in this process may be feeling quite the opposite.

You see, as women we like to have clarity, we like to know that this relationship is going to last and we usually like to have some kind of official notification (let’s just call it a Facebook check on our relationship status). However, some guys like to date girls just to see if there is anything more there. When things start to get serious they may get scared and run away. However, at the end of the day if a guy isn’t sure that he wants to be in a relationship with you maybe he’s not so great after all.

I will warn you, however, most guys like to take their time and be sure that they are fully committed to you before making the jump into a relationship. But, when a guy tells you he isn’t sure or he is having second thoughts it may be time to take a step backwards and run the other direction.  Dating should be fun and care-free but let’s face it; we would at least like to know that this (whatever it is) is on track to something. No, I’m not saying we need to hear wedding bells in our future but an opportunity to say “hi blah blah” this is my boyfriend (insert name). After all, we like this person and we are proud to be with them!

So ladies, if a guy is breaking it off with you because you want to DTR then don’t worry because he obviously wasn’t worth it anyway. Move on and find someone who will want to be with you, without you have to ask in the first place…

Good luck girls J

Until next time!

Miss Behaving xox

Song of the Day: Who Says

Breakup Tip #34

Things to say and not say to your girlfriends going through a break-up…

We all have our friends who are there for us when a relationship ends, sometimes they say exactly what you want to hear and sometimes they don’t. Who can blame them right? Well, let me give you some hints as someone who has tried to comfort my friends and as someone who has been comforted myself… here we go!

Things to say:

1. You’re going to be OK (that guy never deserved you anyway)
2. Why not try something new (a new hobby)
3. I will always be here if you need to talk
4. If you need me to kill him, just say the word (I know some guys-Just kidding!)
5. You’re a great girl and any guy would be lucky to be with you
6. Which Ben and Jerry’s flavor would you like to try tonight? (hey, ice cream never hurt anyone!)
7. Give yourself some time, things will get better

Things NOT to say:

1. I’m sorry your relationship ended, he was a great guy…(thanks for the reminder!)
2. Hey, would it be ok if I date him now?
3. Do you know where he usually hangs out, why not stalk him and remind him what he’s missing out on (PLEASE don’t do this, I beg you)
4. One phone call won’t hurt (he probably misses you too-HINT: he doesn’t!)
5. Just go meet some new guys and hook up with them, you will forget him right away
6. Date that guy (insert name) he always liked you anyway
7. I was looking at his Facebook page for you, it looks like there are some girls that really like him (PLEASE ladies, don’t do this to your friends)

So, this is just a short list of do’s and don’ts for what to say to your friends when they are going through a break-up. Girls often need support from their friends not a reminder of why the relationship failed. Sometimes this will mean a few kind words and sometimes it will be you bringing a tub of ice cream and a spoon. It just depends on the situation but ladies; one thing we know how to do well is be a good friend to one another.

So, break out the girl power movies and the Chinese food…It’s a girls night

Love,

Miss Behaving xox

Breakup Quote of the Day…

Breakup Tip #33

Hindsight is 20/20…

Have you ever been in a relationship that you thought at the time was pretty good. When others tried to question it you merely blew them off because obviously they had no idea what they were talking about. Well, I’m here to tell you that we have all been there. Stuck in a relationship we think is going well (at least we tell ourselves it is) only to realize when it’s over that it wasn’t so wonderful after all. After taking a sobering step back we can finally see the relationship for what it truly is…a mess.

As my friends and I often joke, I like to wonder what we were possibly smoking during that time (just kidding), but in reality how could we let someone treat us like that and be ok with it? That my friend is the real question here. I would like to say that we were under the influence of love and with such a powerful emotion we couldn’t possibly see the light of day. Right? Well, maybe not…

You see, when you friends and family are telling you that this isn’t the right guy for you, maybe you should listen up. Throughout my relationships I like to keep a little journal of insights of how I feel in that moment, sweet memories and even sad ones but ultimately when I look back on those I can see how the relationship truly made me feel.

Don’t you wish you had a crystal ball that could look to the future and tell you whether or not you should spend your valuable time with this person? After all your time is important and why waste it on some guy who doesn’t picture a life with you. My advice, if your friends and family are waving red flags, try to listen to them but also try and take a step back and see the relationship you have for what it is. If you are truly happy, great! If not, try and figure out why, it may be time to move on.

Love,

Miss Behaving xox