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Break-up Tip #45

Reasons why you should get over your break-up…

So, you just had your heart broken and the last thing you want to do is face the world again. I get it.

The problem is the longer you spend locked up inside, the harder it will be to get back out there and move on. Recently I met with my doctor who is close in age to me and went through a bad break-up. She had been dating this guy for just over 2 years and although the relationship was long distance she was pretty sure he was the one.

So, of course she felt totally devastated when he called her to tell her he could no longer be with her. What I can tell you about my doctor is that she is very brave and got up the next day, went to work and forced herself to not think about it. She was doing great!

For many of us this isn’t so easy and we just can’t quite face it. Thus, I have created a list of reasons why you should get over you break-up and try and get out of bed (If not for health reasons alone…everybody needs to take a shower 😉

  1. If it’s meant to be, this guy will come back…there is no point on dwelling on it
  2. If you were having fights or disagreements often then he probably wasn’t on the same page as you
  3. There is probably someone better suited for you
  4. You can now do everything you wanted to do, take that trip, go skydiving, get a new job, whatever your heart desires!
  5. Everything happens for a reason, maybe you both need some space and time to reflect
  6. You may be happier alone for a while. Being single isn’t bad!
  7. If he wasn’t treating you the way you deserve, he doesn’t deserve for you to feel bad. Move on
  8. Tomorrow is a new day, you never know what’s going to happen..
  9. You can watch your tv shoes, eat whatever you want and just be you (how great is that J )
  10. Your friends and family will still love you and guess what they’re not going anywhere

If a break-up has you down, just try and focus on the positive aspects. It won’t be easy but in the long-run you will be glad you did. Think of this as a growing experience and a time of self-reflection. You can get through this and you will come out better for it.

Until next time,

Miss Behaving xox

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Song of the Day: Torn

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Breakup Tip #34

Things to say and not say to your girlfriends going through a break-up…

We all have our friends who are there for us when a relationship ends, sometimes they say exactly what you want to hear and sometimes they don’t. Who can blame them right? Well, let me give you some hints as someone who has tried to comfort my friends and as someone who has been comforted myself… here we go!

Things to say:

  1. You’re going to be OK (that guy never deserved you anyway)
  2. Why not try something new (a new hobby)
  3. I will always be here if you need to talk
  4. If you need me to kill him, just say the word (I know some guys-Just kidding!)
  5. You’re a great girl and any guy would be lucky to be with you
  6. Which Ben and Jerry’s flavor would you like to try tonight? (hey, ice cream never hurt anyone!)
  7. Give yourself some time, things will get better

Things NOT to say:

  1. I’m sorry your relationship ended, he was a great guy…(thanks for the reminder!)
  2. Hey, would it be ok if I date him now?
  3. Do you know where he usually hangs out, why not stalk him and remind him what he’s missing out on (PLEASE don’t do this, I beg you)
  4. One phone call won’t hurt (he probably misses you too-HINT: he doesn’t!)
  5. Just go meet some new guys and hook up with them, you will forget him right away
  6. Date that guy (insert name) he always liked you anyway
  7. I was looking at his Facebook page for you, it looks like there are some girls that really like him (PLEASE ladies, don’t do this to your friends)

So, this is just a short list of do’s and don’ts for what to say to your friends when they are going through a break-up. Girls often need support from their friends not a reminder of why the relationship failed. Sometimes this will mean a few kind words and sometimes it will be you bringing a tub of ice cream and a spoon. It just depends on the situation but ladies; one thing we know how to do well is be a good friend to one another.

So, break out the girl power movies and the Chinese food…It’s a girls night

Love,

Miss Behaving xox

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Breakup Tip #33

Hindsight is 20/20…

Have you ever been in a relationship that you thought at the time was pretty good. When others tried to question it you merely blew them off because obviously they had no idea what they were talking about. Well, I’m here to tell you that we have all been there. Stuck in a relationship we think is going well (at least we tell ourselves it is) only to realize when it’s over that it wasn’t so wonderful after all. After taking a sobering step back we can finally see the relationship for what it truly is…a mess.

As my friends and I often joke, I like to wonder what we were possibly smoking during that time (just kidding), but in reality how could we let someone treat us like that and be ok with it? That my friend is the real question here. I would like to say that we were under the influence of love and with such a powerful emotion we couldn’t possibly see the light of day. Right? Well, maybe not…

You see, when you friends and family are telling you that this isn’t the right guy for you, maybe you should listen up. Throughout my relationships I like to keep a little journal of insights of how I feel in that moment, sweet memories and even sad ones but ultimately when I look back on those I can see how the relationship truly made me feel.

Don’t you wish you had a crystal ball that could look to the future and tell you whether or not you should spend your valuable time with this person? After all your time is important and why waste it on some guy who doesn’t picture a life with you. My advice, if your friends and family are waving red flags, try to listen to them but also try and take a step back and see the relationship you have for what it is. If you are truly happy, great! If not, try and figure out why, it may be time to move on.

Love,

Miss Behaving xox

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