Breakup Tip #13

So, he came back….

Let me guess, you are finally starting to feel like yourself again, you made it outside of your bed, heck you even made it outside your house and all of a sudden (when you least expect it)…Boom, guess whose back?

Your ex.

Now, since you have given yourself some time to heal and you have finally taken down all those old pictures and the restraining order has been lifted (JUST KIDDING). You would like to tell yourself that you can handle this; he means nothing to you now. All those weeks, months or maybe even years were just a spot on your record and not something you want to relive all over again, right…right? Well, your mind has probably started wondering at this point to the what ifs…or the but, maybe he realized his huge mistake!

While all these assumptions are possible, let’s for one second remember one simple fact. He left you, he didn’t want to be with you and HE was the one who broke your heart. So, maybe he doesn’t deserve to be welcomed back with open arms. I have had this happen to me, it was actually quite like a movie, the guy showed up at my door (Ironically it was pouring with rain) and it was quite the romantic chick flick scene. I took him back without a hesitation and although it was wonderful for the first few months, we quickly started running into the same problems we had before.

So, while having your ex back in your life may seem like an answer to a prayer, just be warned, it may not end with the same happy ending you initially intended. My warning for you ladies is to be careful, remember this relationship didn’t work out before and although he may know all your deepest darkest secrets, including your much needed craving for chocolate at 2am, it doesn’t mean he is Mr. Right.

While an ex-boyfriend may be the safe choice, don’t go back with him because he was comfortable, do it because you can’t live without him (and be pretty darn sure about that). Even in the midst of my break from dating, I have found that my exes are coming out of the woodwork to say “hi” or just “check in,” but I don’t want to get sidetracked because I know that these relationships didn’t work in the past, the likelihood that they will work now seems slim to none. I am not trying to be your Debbie downer but rather a realistic friend. So, I’ll leave this ball in your court, but remember you deserve the best  and if this guy isn’t that, then give him the door and see how he likes it.

Love,

Miss Behaving

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Filed under Breakup tips, Breakups, ex-boyfriend, Friends, love, rebound, Survival

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