Extraordinary creatures that we are, we are exceptionally inept at sorting out truth from time to time. One of the biggest lies we fall for, especially as women, is the belief that we only truly live when paired up. This theory, however, invalidates a huge portion of our lives as singles. Perhaps when girls were married off at 16 it was true. The transition was from childhood to family life. This simply isn’t how it works anymore. Ladies are staying single well into their 30s, 40s, or never marrying at all. My point is that we need to live our lives to the fullest, even, and especially, in our singleness.
Stop holding your breath.
What are the things you love doing when you are dating someone then miss when you are single? Have you ever gone to the movies alone? Do you only keep up with your mani/pedis when there is a guy in the picture? Have you held off on getting a cat for fear that guys might not like it?
I challenge you to draw a picture in your mind of the life you’d like to live… then subtract the man. How much does your vision change? Now ask yourself, does it have to?
Personally, my dream has been to have a house of my own but somewhere in the back of my mind, doing it on my own made me feel like I would be conceding to spinsterhood. I always thought my first house would be with my husband but then I asked myself, why can’t I have this dream? I can, right now by myself, make a dream come true. I can live my “dream” life right now… without a man.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a man-hater. I’m no ultra feminist that would sooner gouge out my own eyes than ever be married. I simply believe that we shouldn’t wish away an entire phase of our lives just because there isn’t a man at our side.
You are a beautiful and and amazing lady. Start crafting your dreams now… the confidence it gives you might be exactly what attracts Mr. Right.
Go to the movies alone, not with a girlfriend, all by yourself. Get popcorn. Enjoy both armrests. It’s a liberating experience.
Miss Independent (guest blogger)